Before I move away from C.S. Lewis, at least for a time, there is one more thing that he talked about in ‘‘Mere Christianity’ that I’d like to expand upon. Toward the end of the book in his chapter entitled ‘Nice People or New Men’ he goes on in length about the different temperaments and upbringings that different people have and how it affects them in their walk with Christ. He’s trying to point out that you can’t necessarily expect the same Christian response from person “A” and person “B” to the same situations in life because these two people may have entirely different temperaments or life’s circumstances to deal with and that God works with each of us individually.
There was one particular portion of this section that helped me to understand my own struggles particularly well. Lewis says on page 215;
“But if you are a poor creature – poisoned by a wretched upbringing in a some house full of vulgar jealousies and senseless quarrels – saddled, by no choice of your own, with some loathsome sexual perversion – nagged day in and day out by an inferiority complex that makes you snap at your best friends – do not despair. He knows all about it. You are one of the poor whom He blessed. He knows what a wretched machine you are trying to drive. Keep on. Do what you can. One day (perhaps in another world, but perhaps far sooner than that) He will fling it on the scrap heap and give you a new one. And then you will astonish us all – not least yourself; for you have learned your driving in the hard school. (Some of the last will be first and some of the first will be last).”
My first car was a 1976 Ford Pinto. It was a real clunker. Leaked oil all the time and I could barely keep the thing running. It was embarrassing for me to let anyone see me in it; I would slink low behind the wheel if I pulled up beside a pretty girl or someone driving a nice sleek Camero. It eventually threw a rod and I left it as a dead heap on the side of a Dallas expressway.
For years I felt that I was driving a very similar spiritual machine. I told myself that there was a very good and justifiable reason that I struggled so much with things of a spiritual nature provided with the upbringing and the personal issues that I had. I would look at those people cruising by me in the “game of life” with their sleek machines and bemoan my “wretched machine.”
I find Lewis’ analogy of a wretched machine very appropriate, but instead of having my machine flung on the scrap heap; it would appear that God is rebuilding it bit by bit. One day I look under the hood and discover that the engine has been replaced. The next day I walk by and notice the new tires. Some parts appear still to be on order, but I know that one day they’ll arrive and eventually I’ll have a fully rebuilt spiritual vehicle that I can be proud to show to anybody and that’ll be a complete joy to drive. It won’t be a perfect vehicle until I see Him “face to face”, but it will surely be good enough to get me to my destination with a degree of comfort and pride (pride in Him who rebuilt it, of course).
I try to no longer compare myself with others. Sure, I definitely haven’t had the same breaks that others have had, but there are many people that I meet on a daily basis that have top-of-the-line Jaguars who have absolutely no idea what their machine is capable of. With God as my Master Mechanic who is rebuilding me in His image on a daily basis, one day I’ll be able to race past those with their underutilized Jaguars and Lamborginis in my God-rebuilt Pinto and their jaws will drop.
One last note about the wretched machine concept that Lewis didn’t really bring out. At the time of writing this, Lewis was unmarried and had no children. God also knows about the passengers in our “wretched machine.” The alcoholic husband, the philandering wife, the disobedient children. It’s bad enough for some of us to not only to have a horrible vehicle to drive around in but to also have a bunch of unruly passengers making our journey all the more difficult. I myself am grateful to have a wonderful Christian wife who drove me around for many years while I was making her life difficult, but many others aren’t as fortunate. God knows all and sees all and can not only fix our wretched machines but the machines of those who are riding along with us as well. And even if they decide not to allow themselves to be rebuilt, He will at least make it so that we can still love them and not be too terribly distracted while they ride with us.
Conversations Along The Road